♥
i have more emo and chillout songs in my ipod than hiphop shit now. hiphop is gettin noisy and sounds crappish now.. not all though, i mean i still like hiphop and all, but most of the time now its like i prefer to listen to emo trash. hahaaha.
siannn..i have nothing to be emo about. the one thing that used to make me emo doesnt do its trick no more. i mean its good of course, but cmon lahz, give me something to emo over!! i want to cry. bleah.
oh close your eyes, touch your heart and tell me how you really feel.................
blahblahblah..need to go to school tmr.. yes of course i will turn up,i gotta hand in an assignment tmr, tmr's the deadline,so yeah im being forced to get my ass to school..
and why do some people wanna reach nirvana? is it really such a good state to acheive?? i never really knew what nirvana was until i read 'sing to the dawn', some stupid local lit book.
how do you go beyond suffering? i assume she meant suffering as in, not only physical suffering but emotional suffering as well, i think suffering emotionally is worse than any kind of physical pain or torture..
you learn to stop wanting things, child. first you realise that nothing we touch, or see,or hear or smell or feel will last forever. things we perceive will only pass after a while. flowers fade, parents die, the sun sets. can you understand that? well then, once you realise that things of this world dont last, then you also see that they are not really important. so you learn to stop wanting the ordinary things,and are able to concentrate on the higher truths.
hmmmm.. well, if ordinary things arent important, what is then?? ahh when a man reaches nirvana, he is freed from the wheel of life, of being born, of suffering, of dying. in nirvana there is no suffering, no pain, no rebirth, only nothing.
why?? why no happiness or joy either???
thats the point, child. whats the sense in being happy? in the end you only lose the thing that makes you happy anyway.. nothing lasts forever, you know.
but then again, ahh nobody was talking about it all lasting forever. what is wrong with just trying to make it last a little longer??
hah!! a little longer? what for, child? whats the sense of going through life always dreading the end of some fragile happiness? if you know it will have to end sooner or later, why bother to hold on? why try to clutch onto a passing shadow?
ahh how cynical.... but hmm then again..
sighh. cmon, life is short.. live each day as it comes. no need for seriousness and all that. its all predestined anyway. of course you can try to make something out of nothing, perhaps it will work for you, but if youve tried and lost, then theres no point what. everyone should live their lives the way they themselves should want to, and not be dictated by anyone else. if i cant even do what i want, then thats real cause for not wanting to live. and thats just the way life goes, thats the way love goesss...
i guess maybe i dont seem to believe in love right now.. but i do believe that theres someone for everyone. rosetinted glasses? nah, i just trust that we will all be happily married one day with that special someone, there will be no need to buy anyone cats.. hahaha.
im just waiting for april to come so i can have my holidays....bleah. no more checking edventure for stupid online lects and tutorials.. its such a drag. yes i know, i pay my damn school fees to study at home, so what.
and i wonder when will i ever trust someone to like me enough..
